The Arms of an Angel
Having the second day of class on Saint Patty’s day is either a good thing or a very bad idea.
While everyone is getting drunk, decked out in green (though I will say I did rock my green todayJ, and running the streets of this fantastic city, we are all inside a yoga studio turned classroom, cleansing our minds at the same time as using them. Either we are smart because we won’t be waking up the next day sauced for class, or just extremely dedicated or not adventurous. Either way not to many of us were getting sauced afterward.
The second, yet first full day, began with my morning trip to Starbucks. Despite taking a caffeine cutback, I still needed something to get me through the 9 hour day, and because of my super OCDness and of course the long lines that New York can be known for, I decided to get to Starbucks, an hour before classes.
And maybe good karma, or just my luck. I had none of that so I got to the studio super early. I wasn’t the only one, and as we sat waiting we also started talking and getting to know each other., also started the first threads of friendship.
The day started with a chant from our guru. A peaceful way to begin for the yogi and perhaps a strange way for the non practitioner.
Those who don’t practice yoga may think it is strange or hocus pocus, but in many ways it isn’t it refocuses the mind and helps us realize why we are here on our mats. What brought us here. Why we want to delve deeper into who we are and push ourselves further, strive for more improvement. Not necessarily better because as I have found we are all beautiful, but definitely a push to ourselves and for ourselves.
So many times we get lost in that. Even in yoga, as we strive to perfect that asana when in reality there is no perfection, just our own edge, and for each practitioner it is somewhere different.
As we delve more into yoga, the history of it, the poses, we begin to understand and in many ways respect it more. There are some poses that I hate, maybe because they are o hard to do, or I am not as coordinated at them. But as I begin to understand them I may still not love them, but I have definitely come to respect them.
And as such we respect ourselves and others.
Today something that was nerve racking was also the beginning to teach it to others.
I realize that is a huge part of why I came here, but it doesn’t take away shyness, or insecurities.
Which is why I am here, because in doing this, I am shutting those down, I am accepting them and letting go. As an instructor, I run the class. It isn’t a power trip, it is just simply, I am the only one who will know if I screw up or if I forgot someone. And like with most other things, not only with yoga and life, most times I am and will be the only one judging myself.
I know that as I practice more on my fellow classmates, and get more comfortable the words will come. Right now it is just focusing and learning.
Another incredible thing, is that today after lunch (where one of my classmates catered a lunch, beyond super sweet of her!) we did Nidra, which is the art of psychic sleeping.
Which to some might sound hocus pocus, but really it is about your body being relaxed and asleep while your mind is present. It is about for a lack of a softer word, control, and being mindful.
And today, as my guru, was going through the rhythms, I sensed my sister present. At one point our bodies needed to feel like they are falling, which for some reason I have a strong aversion too, maybe it is all of John and Chuck’s horror stories they told me as a kid I don’t know.
But then we were told to get lighter, to feel like we are floating up, and of course whenever anyone says floating up, I think of the heavens, or the clouds, something up high with all of my precious angels, and as I was floating up higher I felt hands around my waist helping me up, and I know they were my big sisters.
Once again I am reminded that she is with me on this journey, maybe not herein a solid, but I know as a spiritual guidance she is definitely here. And for that I know I will always feel close to her.