“Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
Gratitude in Grief
Some years are harder then others and this year was definitely a harder one. Ten years is a pretty big mile stone. One that brought up all the emotions and reflections and essentially “All the things.” But I made it through, in part to all the people who reached out to me. The phone calls, Facetimes, texts, messages, and comments on this blog and my other social channels meant the world to me. It made the day more bearable, and once again I am so incredibly grateful to be surrounded by such amazing people in my life.
Part of that amazingness is the compassion and utter selflessness in those who reached out. Grief, especially with human death, is uncomfortable AF, especially in the society we live in today. We can comfort those who lose pets much more easily then we can find compassion for those of us whose human loved ones have died. It has lessened, but in the days, weeks, even years, it sometimes felt like I was “Contagious.” Like people feared if they talked to me they would have a sister or loved one killed.
Thankfully, that isn’t how it works, and even more grateful, I am surrounded by people who are selfless enough to not only realize that isn’t true, but also put their own uncomfortableness aside to offer support. To be compassionate and kind. And despite not always knowing what to say, which is completely fine, because sometimes there are no words, to let me know that they are thinking of me and that I and my grief matter and is acknowledged. And that more then anything is enough. In the crazy insane world we live in, I am so grateful to be surrounded by people like that and I just wish there were more, because the world would be a much more loving compassionate place.
I usually spend my sister’s anniversary and Birthday doing something special and memorable, usually either traveling or going to a Broadway show. Thanks to COVID that couldn’t happen, but I did decide that despite the drizzle and clouds, I needed to be at the ocean. I am working on a special project for a friend and wanted to shoot some preliminary pics, before spending the rest of the day at Crescent.
I shot some stills, changed and then got in the car, PLANNING on going to Crescent, but ended up detouring to Two Lights State Park. Despite going to the lighthouses, and having a seasons pass, I had not been to the Park all season. Which is ironic because it is literally one of my favorite places, in part because my mertwin introduced me when we first met.
Being the day it was, it called for an extra happy place and Two Lights was it. I walked out to the rocks and sat down. The section I was on had been eroded away so all that was below were the huge waves rushing up as it was high tide. It was so incredibly peaceful and exactly what I needed.
That night we did a huge family dinner. It was my brothers weekend with the kiddos so they definitely helped brighten our moods and make us all smile. Saturday was a regrouping day, and Sunday we had a fun day at the Farm which I will share soon. I had decided to unplug for the weekend, which then turned into a more permanent action since I was FINALLY upgrading my phone!
I definitely plan on doing a post about my new phone, especially in light of the 12 coming out and all the issues surrounding that (which is why I didn’t wait), but guys I am so frickin happy! Seriously for someone whose phone is their job, mine was more then ready to retire. It had put in the miles and now deserves a nice long sleep. (or whatever Apple has planned for it) I finally upgraded everything tonight which is perfect timing because I am FINALLY going on an adventure starting tomorrow. Something else that is LONG over due!
Once again thank you so much for all the messages and sweet words, you guys really are the best! Sending you all so much love! <3
How did your week go? What are your plans for the long weekend?
2 thoughts on “Gratitude and A Little Update”
You are right this year was definitely a harder one but not end yet.. I am very scared as In India our Big festival Durga Puja will start from 22nd October.. You can’t stop people to go out and enjoying. I don’t know what will happen as they have already started their shopping like last year..
I’m glad you had a good weekend, you beautiful human. It sucks that grief, something we all experience at one point, is so dividing. I think you hit the nail on the head – people don’t know what to say, so they nothing, which is isolating and completely worse. Thinking of you Kate and, while it sucks you didn’t get the celebrate your sister in your normal fashion, I hope you’re feeling a bit better now the anniversary date has passed xx