“And what is so rare as a day in June? Then, if ever, come perfect days.” ~ James Russell Lowell
T-Minus 4 Days
With everything going on, I held off posting this, but with T-Minus Four Days until I turn the big 3-0 I wanted to share this.
Happy (belated) June everybody! And happy Birthday Month to me! Not gonna lie I am super excited because not only is it my birthday in
two weeks four days, but I turn a big one! Guys I am old AF! Cue the rocking chair, and the gray hair which thankfully during COVID I didn’t uncover any. Thank you 2020 for doing SOMETHING right at least. If this was the year I got gray hair I do not know what I would do! And despite the new decade I refuse to start wearing practical shoes, It will NEVER happen! Heals for life not just days!
Bring “Old” Age On
As much as I joke about the dreaded thirty, I am actually super excited for it. I feel like society has spent so much time building us up to dread getting older, but the reality is, I feel so much more sane and definitely wiser (yeah I said it) then I did in my early twenties.
Being real and one hundred percent truthful, my twenties were a shit show. On SO many levels! I feel like I am finally coming into my own and am at a place where I am content with not just my life, but MYSELF. Which at the end of the day is the only thing that matters. It is amazing the amount of time I spent hating myself, especially my body. Constantly comparing, and judging, and never in my mind being good enough especially when held to societies standards.
Standards that to be perfectly honest, they and all the societal pressures can go fuck themselves. We are all unique and so incredibly beautiful that to try to mold ourselves to fit an ideal which in essence then makes us like everyone else, defeats the purpose of us being different. Being unique. If I have any regrets the last thirty years, it is that I wasted so much time essentially trying to make myself blend in, and chased the allusions of perfection.
Perfection is not just overrated, nor impossible, but to actually achieve it, means that you have reached the end of the journey, and if I have learned anything is that my journey has only just begun.
A New Year
I have always treated birthdays as my New Year. I don’t make resolutions per se, but I re-evaluate my life, set goals, and make plans for the year ahead. Maybe it is because I was always overshadowed by four older siblings, but my birthday is MY day. I know I use that word a lot, but it truly is uniquely mine, and as such, I use it as the start line of each year.
It is no secret 2020 has sucked, but I am excited for what a new decade brings, and it starts with my birthday month, which also coincidentally, while I like to think of it as the start of MY New Year, is the half way mark of the calendar year. We are six months in, and while it has been insane, I like to be optimistic that it is changing for the better.
A Hopeful Second Half
Hope might make me seem idealistic, but then I think idealism is a good thing, especially right now. It doesn’t necessarily mean I am living under a rock, because I know our world is hurting mightily. Heck I have been there bleeding, especially this year. BUT with the bad, also comes the good. Life is full of dualities. It is full of trial and tribulation, which my twenties DEFINITELY were. But here I am still standing and prepared for the next decade.
I have walked in and out of hell and I made it. I am okay, no matter how horrible it seemed, and while 2020 is definitely trying to lobe those cannonballs at us all, I know even in the darkest moments I can and will make it through. I have that confidence, and that contentment of self. And that is so incredibly important to find. Being a spinster doesn’t;t bother me, because I am unapologetically in my prime and I am gonna rock it the next ten years, even if that includes botox and really great hair dye!
Are you excited for June? What is your favorite month?