“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” ~ Buddha
The guise of social media
Social media is great at painting the guise of the picture perfect. All rainbows, butterflies, and amazing food, (okay I am envious of all the food pictures!) creating social envy, and lamentations of “Why isn’t my life like that?”
Well the truth is, their life isn’t like that all the time either. Everyone has bad days. And while I try to be Lil Mrs. Julia Child, there are days where boxed mac and cheese is pretty damn appetizing.
While I like to think I DO have a pretty good life, I still have bad days. In fact I sometimes have bad weeks. As much as I try to be optimistic, I do have days where I freak the fuck out, scaring everyone, as I walk up Third Avenue bawling hysterically because I am already done with 2018.
Svetlana
I mentioned in my last post I had gotten my laptop back, before I left NH. Svetlana was recovering from her cyber bug, when she decided on Saturday, she needed to go back to the Apple hospital.
The gray screen of doom appeared. And I freaked out.
Sidenote: I have never hated the color gray more then I did in that moment. Like is it even a color?
I took my laptop into Apple on Tuesday, where they literally were the only bright spot. They were ridiculously helpful, and once again showed why I will only ever buy Apple. They even fast tracked the work (no not like NY MTA fast track, but like actual fast tracking) to have it done Tuesday night.
PCOS
This is where I leave off with the rest of my week was peachy keen. But nope this is the moment I get real honest and probably a bit TMI.
While they were great, during the appointment, felt like I was dying. In fact I am pretty sure I looked like I was sucking on lemons the whole meeting.
If you have followed this blog or read any of my articles, I have talked about my (painful) struggle with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome.) I haven’t written about it in awhile, because truthfully I have been in a really bad place with it. And usually when I am struggling with something I don’t really talk about it.
I never admitted to being rational peeps.
Since the Summer, it has been particularly bad, not just with physical symptoms, but the emotional as well. While feeling like I am being stabbed a million times, is not the most pleasant, I much prefer that to the hormonal depression I have been dealing with. There are days where getting out of bed feels like I am climbing a mountain. Actually hiking Everest would be easier. Even just a hello text will turn me into a ball of mush.
The after the appointment I went home and died. Not really, but I did curl up with blankets and tried to shut the world out, praying that Wednesday would be better.
Stolen Credit Card
This is the day the universe basically flipped me off. Apparently the powers that be, decided I should be the protagonist in a Dickens novel. If you have ever read Dickens, (my sympathies) you know he loved to make everyone’s life go from depressing to pure hell.
I met a friend for coffee in the morning, and tried to use my debit card. It didn’t work, but I wasn’t concerned since my bank is usually excellent with this sort of thing.
Cue manic laughing.
I called them and discovered my number had been stolen with charges racked up. Okay sort of a hassle since I had to go into a store and get a new card, but manageable.
NOT.
Apparently the machine that makes new cards was not working, and the idiot who worked there told me it was the whole company.
No card, no laptop, which I was suppose to be picking up at that moment.
If you were trying to picture this all in your head, this is when I walked up Third Avenue bawling hysterically. And if I needed further proof I had stumbled into a Dickens novel, it was also raining.
Legit freaking out now, I called my parents, who bless their hearts were trying to trouble shoot for me from four hundred miles away. With not much they could do, I called my bank again trying to be calm but failing. Bless the customer service rep’s heart because he called around the city trying to find a branch that had a working machine.
Alleu-fucking-luia he found several (basically the guy in the other store was lazy) and I was able to get a new card and then reunited with my precious Svetlana.
Pity Fest
After I got my laptop, I went home, put on trashy television (actually it was the Food Network, so would that constitute as food porn?), and ate my fill in Reeses cups, because I needed not just a sick day, but also a mental one.
We might portray the perfect facade, but the truth is, we do not need too. And there are days where I JUST. DO. Not. Want. To.
I am not saying go around be a grump, because no one wants to be around that person either. But being real? Admitting when you are struggling? Or you need to talk to someone? That makes you relatable. It opens yourself up to deeper connections, because you realize others struggle too. We ALL have bad days. We ALL have great days. It is all about that balance and keeping perspective, but also being true and honest to yourself and others.
How do you cope with bad days and/or bad weeks? What do you do to make yourself feel better?
Oh girl when I read about your phone and laptop and the rain I wanted to hug you. It sometimes builds up and things frustrate you so much you wanna cry. I feel that way today. It’s a serious lack of sleep, as I go bed late, get my brother up and ready for school, there’s been no one to have him afternoons this week so I’ve had him, done homework, cooked separate meals for me and him. On top of that I’ve had a load if late work finishes, our initial moving plans fell through and I feel done today🙈 Wish I was in NYC with you. We could have a glass of wine and a moan haha. I find the gym destresses me. I’m going later so I hope it makes me feel a bit less tense x
YOU are the absolute sweetest! Seriously this cheered me up so much! I am so lucky to have an amazing friend like you in my life! And sending you huge cyber hugs.
It really does.
And awe huge hugs beauty! I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of that! That sucks about moving plans falling through, If you need an ear I am here!:) I wish you were here too! Yes! Wine, sweets, and some sex and the city, because SJP makes everyone feel better ;p
The gym is a great destresser. I hope you are feeling better sweets so much love to you! <3
Oooh I need to fly over cos that sounds like the best girly night! Yes! Love SATC. You are awesome, I only wish we lived closer💕 Thanks huni. Feeling a but better, still a bit meh and tired but happy it’s nearly the weekend😊 xxx
Yes you do! Hehe it is! Awe YOU are awesome! I wish we lived closer to each other too! Hugs anytime sweets. Huge hugs! Hopefully you will be able to do something fun this weekend or at the very least spoil yourself somewhat 🙂 <3
Aaw thanks huni. I’m having my hair done😊 So a bit of a pampering. I hope you’re feeling better. Hugs and kisses😙 xx
Ahhh fun! I can not wait to see pictures! I love getting my hair done! Thanks beauty! I am. Taking some me time 🙂 <3
Oh, Kate … what a terrible week! I’m so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug … or give the universe a stern talking-to and tell it to treat you better (because darn it, she is really sweet and doesn’t deserve this crap). But I’m glad you’re doing some Reese’s self-care — my go-to favorite too — and hope things will turn around for you soon. xx
Awe thank you for the sweet words! They seriously brightened my day! You are the best and sending you a bug cyber hug back! Hehe Reese’s are my weakness! Thanks sweets! It is! I hope you are having an amazing day! <3
xo
<3
Sorry all of this happened at once! It always comes together in clump, don’t they? And RAINY TOO!?! Serious, a real Dickens novel moment. Curses on that lazy guy at the bank! I’m glad things are looking up.
Usually when I have a bad day, I like to be by myself or else I worry I’ll take it out on someone (innocent bystander or my SO). Better to just let it ride out and then I’ll be ok. Chocolate definitely helps!
Thanks so much beauty for the support and sweet words! It really does! When it rains it pours lol. Right? I was like really universe? If I had to be in Dickens novel can’t I at least be in London for it?
Thanks beauty! And I definitely get the anting to be alone part. And chocolate is the best remedy! I hope you have an amazing day sweets! <3
I wish I could just go to NYC and give you a big hug!! This week obviously was the ¨chasing down my computer¨ week. I had that situation a year ago where I was told my computer was ready when the engineer who was repairing it held onto it for some reason heh. Hopefully you have a better week next week!
Buddy this comment seriously made my day! (and might have made me misty eyed) You are such a sweetheart and sending you a big hug right back! I miss you and hope to see you soon! <3
Hope to see ya soon too! 🙂
<3
I love this. I love YOU. This is so honestly relatable – I actually met up with my blogging friend Isabel and we had almost this EXACT conversation because both of us have struggled with our mental state and motivation in January. Honestly, I think you just have to FEEL the bad days and take it as part of life…then use it to motivate yourself on your good ones. For me, I have to really force myself to get back into my self-care routine. Also I hope you’re feeling better! I can’t believe ALL THESE THINGS happened at once – I’m so sorry, I know sometimes it can feel like life is really piling it on ;-; All my love to you though! <3 xxxx
Awe I love you! Thank you for brightening my day! January is just a sucky month in general I think. It is a huge letdown after the holidays and the weather sucks. I am ready to be on a Caribbean island!
I agree with you one hundred percent! I use to shy away and ignore the bad feelings and it really did me (nor anyone around me lol) any good. Plus the bad days make you appreciate the good ones.
I think that is the hardest part, dragging yourself out of the rut. I hope you get back into your routine and start to feel better as well beauty!
Thank you so much for your sweet words of encouragement! So much love and hugs to you sweet beauty! <3
Oh my goodness, I’m gutted this all happened and do not blame you for having a pity fest! I definitely love how this shows that life isn’t perfect and no one’s is!! Have a great day ♥️
Huge hugs. Thanks so much for your sweet words and support beauty! They are greatly appreciated! <3
Whew, you have had A LOT going on!! I like that you’ve blogged about it, though! I know the awful feeling of the screen of death with Apple products. It always reminds me how addicted I am because I feel panicked when something happens so my phone/iPad/etc. LOL. Love what you said about the guise of social media. I could not agree more! It’s so easy to think everyone else has their life together because they just show their highlight reel!
Sorry for all of those troubles, glad to see things are sorted now.
When I have a bad day or feel a bit down, I grab my dogs and head for a good stroll. They make everything better.
I try my best not to feel too sorry for myself as I know there are people suffering from a lot worse. It is hard though, isn’t it?
Lots of love