It's The Light and Magic of The Season

“Guardian angel pure and bright, please lead Santa here tonight.” ~ Unknown

What is Christmas?

I feel like the message of Christmas can get missed in all of the hustle and bustle and just over all hecticness of the season, and we miss what Christmas IS. Yes, I love the holidays, and the decorations, and the cheerful Christmas music, but it is what it gives us. It is what it invokes IN us. Joy, excitement, happiness, magic, love, nurturing, giving, selflessness, all things as humans we crave, and as kids we just innocently have and as adults we grudgingly lose.

But christmas brings that ALL back.

The lights, music, presents, movies, just the over all season as a whole, are all reminders of that joyful exuberance and excitement that we had as children and that even though we are adults, we can STILL feel that way, especially during the holiday season.

I know it is a double edged sword, because as adults the season can be stressful and demanding, as we are in a constant state of preparation, and honestly, life as a whole can be overwhelming. But it is also perspective. It is what we choose to focus on. And if we only focus on the stressful demands then we are missing the true reason for Christmas, and I am not necessarily talking about the religious aspects, though that is important as well.

I have a lot of friends who are Jewish, (and yes I celebrate Hanukah with them.) One friend in particular always loved seeing the decorations with me because I would be almost high with giddiness, and it was infectious. She always told me that I made her want to celebrate Christmas, because I loved it so much. I never got tired of seeing the tree at Rockefeller (even with all the crowds) and Bryant Park was my home away from home during the holidays. The lights and decorations were intoxicating and thus I loved sharing them with those who were important to me. And the fact that my friends wanted to share in that made it even more special and joyful.

Feeling the joy again

One moment in particular always stands out to me this time of year. I spent a lot of time in Connecticut and New York the holiday season after my sister passed. It had only been two months and I was just numb. I went to the Christmas Markets with my cousin who lived in the city, we saw the ballet, but I was just numb, both of us were, because my cousin also was close to my sister. The two of us were like the wooden soldiers in the nutcracker, walking around not really taking anything in.

One of the last nights I was there we decided to go out to Brooklyn (which at the time was huge! What Manhattanite goes to Brooklyn!?!) to Dyker Heights where apparently there were lights that rivaled Whoville. We were walking the blocks which admittedly were more decorated then in Manhattan, when we turned down Tenth Ave and there it was, like Christmas on speed, or like that light bulb moment in movies. Houses lit up like it was day time and not a blustery cold winter’s night. We just stared at it in shock and then started getting giddy like we were kids on Christmas morning. It was beautiful. It was magical. It filled me with hope.

I felt joy. Amidst all the sadness I felt joy, and while I didn’t realize it then (would have been nice if a choir of angels had descended, ya know, and let me know) it was one of the first moments I felt like I would make it through. That the weighted dark hole that had enshrouded me would eventually dissipate, hardening into a permanent scar, that while it sucked, I could learn to work around it, and live, and as the queen says carry on, for the most part. After all I am still human and we all have shitty days. To be sad is not only being human, but it is love. But those decorations let me know that I WOULD feel something other then sadness. I would feel joy again.

Those decorations represented that there is light in the darkness and sometimes it is in the form of blinking multicolored lights and lighted blow up snowmen. This whole season is about finding that light, whether it is the North Star that guided the wise men or the arrival of Jesus himself, lightness is everywhere even when it is so dark. We just have to find the courage to make our way through it. And we have to go through it. We have to feel every emotion, to get through to the other side.

The holiday season is full of hope. Yes it can be sad and stressful, but it is also filled with joy and excitement, if we take the risk and open our hearts, we will find that. I know it can be scary, We don’t want the pain but then who wants to be numb either? If the last two years have taught us nothing else, it is that life isn’t always fun, but as long as we push forward, we will get there. We will find the light. And this is the season for it. So if you are stressed, if you are hurting, if you hate Christmas, that is okay, feel it. But also know it is just temporary, if you will it. You will get through it. You will find the light. And you will find the joy again. And dancing Nutcrackers just might be the thing to help you rediscover that! Sending you’ll my love friends!