Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.” ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
Happy New Year’s Eve!
Happy New Year’s Eve friends! What a cozy rollercoaster year it has been! I know it has been mixed for a lot of people. In some ways it feels like 2021 was just an extension of 2020, and for some people it was worse and others it was better. I can’t say it was horrific, because so many great amazing things happened. And honestly, as my friend Alexa Silvaggio says, “Your mess is your message” and I firmly, firmly believe that. If the last few years have taught me anything, life isn’t always going to be sunshine and roses.
Achieving your goals and your dreams is going to be WORK. A heck of a lot of work, but that is what makes the success so worthwhile. There are no shortcuts to ANYTHING, the good stuff, the bad stuff, the trials and tribulations, the grief, the heartache, the successes, we all have to go IN in order to get OUT. And one way or the other we WILL get out, But it is up to us whether we are choosing to be the passenger, and going along for the ride, perhaps even choosing the round about, which just keeps taking us in circles, or whether we are taking control and choosing to be the driver, and yes we will hit stop signs and closed roads, but WE get to decide how we handle those obstacles.
Phew apparently 2021 got me doing all the car metaphors in my unofficial TED talk, who woulda thought, with how much I DON’T love to drive?
Anywho, this year taught me a lot, and I do mean a lot. I know I kept saying 2021 flew by, but it really did. I don’t know if that in itself was a lesson slow down, pause, and savor, or whether I was being super present that it just flew. Personally I am thinking it was the former.
It was a lot of lessons in boundaries. Big time. I tend to give so much of myself to friends and family and I realized that it wasn’t valued nor really reciprocated (let me say you do NOT do things because it will be reciprocated, but this was to the extent that the relationships really were one sided and all the effort was on my part). I am someone who values relationships and really gives them my all, because I truly care, which is a great thing and is a part of who I am. BUT, there does come a time when it can become detrimental and you have to let go, which I find difficult to do, but at the same time I had to for my own mental health. I am definitely someone who holds on to relationships long past their expiration. 2021 was the year that drilled into me I don’t have to do that and that I need to VALUE myself, and MY needs. We all need too.
Boundaries are an amazing thing, barriers not so much. I admit I have a lot of barriers. And it is a very select few (really my inner circle, especially this year) friends, that have been able to and WANT to break my walls down. I actually got incredibly personal with a friend a few weeks ago, and it made me not only realize how grateful I am that she is in my life, but how freeing it was to express my fears and worries about certain issues I have been really struggling with. It is also a testament to our friendship that I felt comfortable enough to take my walls down and talk.
But barriers are very different then boundaries. And we all need boundaries. They are healthy and actually help direct a relationship and keep it functioning when respected. And they do evolve, as time goes on, but then, as I noticed this past year, sometimes you have to firmly redefine them for your own health and wellness when the relationship changes. And relationships do change. It isn’t a bad thing. It isn’t a good thing. It just is and we need to evolve with them, which is what I did this year. I am not saying it was easy peasy, but I end this year filling content and fulfilled with the relationships in my life.
2021 wasn’t all about emotional or mental growth, it was personal growth as well. While obstacles kept getting in the way of my move, my career began to take off and take off in an industry that I not only am passionate about what I am doing, but I love the people in it and the connections I am making. It isn’t always easy and I do feel like a workaholic (I always have my laptop and phone on me) but it is something that fulfills me and is a creative outlet. I also have a couple other top secret projects that I think are FINALLY going to see the light of day in 2022 which makes me so flipping ecstatic. But seriously if 2022 could have more hours in the day that would be perfect too. Oh darn, I think that is where the live in the present thing comes in!
2021 taught me A LOT. And the messes have become my message especially going into 2022. No matter how much you might wish away the struggles of the past year, we can’t, and ultimately whether it is today as all of us spend the day reflecting or further out when perspective becomes a powerful tool and we can realize it wasn’t all bad. And honestly, that is life. It is a journey filled with highs and lows and flat moments. Sometimes they are super high, sometimes they are super low, and sometimes they are just dang monotonous and boring. But if you are alive, right now, every second of every day of the year truly is a gift, even when it doesn’t feel like it. To live through 2021, and make it to 2022, THAT is a gift. It is also a testament that we have to go through, not around, to get to the other side, or in this case the New Year.
I am wishing you ALL a very Happy New Year! I am so grateful to all of you who have been with me this past year, reading my little space on the webosphere and supporting me. I am eternally grateful and truly so blessed.
What is something good that happened for you in 2021?