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One Year Since I Left New York

One Year Since I Left New York

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” ~ Rosa Parks

One Year Later

It has been one year since I left the Concrete Jungle after having called it home for seven years and what a year it has been. I never could have imagined in my wildest creative author dreams that this would be life as we know it right now. Not just personally, but on a national AND world level. In some ways it feels like I closed the door on my 2P apartment and stepped into an alternate reality.

When I left New York it was to take a couple months, connect with family and friends, reassess my life after graduating college, and determine where the hell I wanted to go. I figured I would be in New Hampshire for two months tops and afterwards, I would either work and travel abroad in Europe, get a job on a cruise, or go directly to Charleston to settle down and do that thing called adulting.

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I did not think I would still be in New Hampshire a year later, and yet it kinda feels a bit full circle.

What A Year

It is no secret that 2020 has been a rough year and being truly honest, it has been since I moved back to New Hampshire. Though I do use that term loosely, because I am not staying forever and I am STILL living out of a suitcase, but regardless of minuscule details, it has been a lot.

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Within weeks of moving back, my ex-sister-in-law informed me she was sick of being a mother and a wife and was cheating on my brother. Honestly WHY she told me that (and more) I have no idea. Thankfully THAT conversation was the last time I have talked to her. Her subsequent decisions have been unconscionable both towards my brother and their sweet munchkins and done considerable damage. Not only have I helped my brother and Mom take care of the kiddos, and tried to be a support system to my brother, but I have also struggled to wrap my head around how someone who was a welcome part of this family for fifteen plus years, someone who was like a sister to me, could turn into this horribly immoral and mean person. Unfortunately, I don’t think I will ever understand.

As things began to settle down and we got into a rhythm with the kiddos, my parents had a series of health issues, beginning with my Dad in such desperate need of double cataract surgery, that I stepped in to help with paperwork until he was finally able to get it. My Mom had sinus surgery. (which she ha to have again) Then my grandmother unexpectedly passed. Afterwards I got sick, (with what I suspect now was COVID) and was out of commission for weeks. But all of that was just the warm-up to my Dad getting critically sick, (NOT COVID) ending up being hospitalized and out of commission for months.

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Then we had the pandemic.

And yes all of this WAS the cliff notes version.

Everything Happens For a Reason

As much as this year has been a rollercoaster, it has only reaffirmed my belief that “Everything happens for a reason.” It may make no sense in the here and now, and be confusing AF. But eventually it comes full circle and clarity and reflection does set in and I have realized even if I haven’t wanted to be, I have always been where I was suppose to be.

Having graduated university, made the decision to not renew my lease, as well as the management company deciding to renovate my apartment, the wheels on the rollercoaster track were already starting. Not one to be impulsive, I wanted time to gather my thoughts for the next step, which I knew (and eventually will) would be monumental, so I went back to New Hampshire. I was there to be the support system my family needed when shit hit the fan with my brother, and parent’s subsequent health issues. I was able to help my other brother with the family business while my Dad recovered. And instead of stressing about loss of job (which surely would have happened in Charleston) or how I am going to pay rent, I am just lamenting the fact that I am not quarantining in a place that is warm.

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A Slow and Steady Memoir 

Our life is a slow and steady memoir longer even then those of the great Russian Classics. We can try to skip ahead, rush to the ending, but by doing so it won’t make sense. We will still get lost. While I do wish much of what happened hadn’t occurred, life isn’t rainbows, it is messy and unpleasant and painful, but that is also what makes us realize and appreciate the beautiful moments which helps us to persevere in the difficult times.

Amongst all the craziness, I got to spend time with my family, especially my nephews and niece creating memories, I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to make with them. Through every upheaval, there is a bright side if you seek it. We can choose to focus on the negative or find the positive. In focusing on the latter we eventually see that the universe does have a plan, one we may not understand in that moment, but once we are in it, and especially when we come through it, not only have we grown and are stronger for it all, but it makes some semblance of sense. This year has been cray-cray, but there is always tomorrow and the next day and the months to come. Maybe my plans will go awry, and maybe they won’t work because they weren’t meant too, and maybe they do because they are leading me to where I am meant to be. Whatever happens, I know I will end up right where I am suppose to be…which not going to lie, will hopefully will be in Charleston, though I am not opposed to the French Riviera either.

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How has the last year been for you? Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 

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K.M. Sutton

I am a country girl living on the Upper East Side of the concrete jungle. My friends call me a modern day Renaissance woman. I have dabbled in a little bit of everything, from being a yoga instructor to holistic chef, to skating coach, to glorified nanny, to student. I am a self admitted coffee junkie. A wannabe mermaid. A wanderluster who dreams of other countries. A fashionista who really does need a bigger bank account. But most important of all, I dream of living in a bungalow by the ocean and being a published writer (in style of course) sipping coffee in the morning and a martini in the evening. I love to meet my readers, so feel free to comment or email me. Happy reading!

5 thoughts on “One Year Since I Left New York

  1. Wow! Where has the time flown? I can’t believe it’s been a YEAR! I remember you leaving New York! Aw girl, I am so proud of you. And sending love to your whole family ❤️ You are such a light and thankfully, you have had this time to spend with your family. Thats always something to be thankful for. Sending so much love to you beauty ❤️

  2. I think things definitely happen for a reason! It’s been a year since we left NH and we were so thankful to be back in our home state to help our families with the health issues they’ve recently had and to be able to get supplies for them during quarantine since several are now high risk. 2020 is a tough one for sure, but it’s almost halfway over already. I believe you have great things ahead of you!

  3. holy hell kate what a whirlwind year you have had! sending you lots of love and good vibes. I remember first treading about your situation with the ex sister in law and being utterly baffled… i imagine she must be having some serious mental health issues or something to suddenly switch to just being so cruel. I do definitely agree that everything happens for a reason, though – you were just where you needed to be to provide that support for your family. It’s beautiful hat you’re managing to find the positives in every situation and I *know* 2021 is going to kick ass xx

  4. Wow Kate you are remarkable. I always thought of you as the sweetest, most genuine, kind soul and this post just reaffirmed ALLL of that and more. You stepping in AND stepping up to support your family like that is tremendous! You are a true gem! I admire your tenacity because you still get that blog post in, the insta post up, and work I’m sure and ton of it at that- you amaze me<3 I too think everything happens for a reason and that timing is everything. Just know that you WILL end up exactly where you need to be, when you need to be! I hope all the best for you and your family- keep healthy! <3

  5. This is so inspiring and mature! It is wonderful advice for acceptance of things over which we have no control! Very proud of you and so grateful you are where you are supposed to be❤️

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