Two blogs in one day! It must have really been an exciting day! Or maybe just emotional and enlightening.
This afternoon as my allergies were flaring up, I was debating whether or not I wanted to go to the yoga class. It meant signing up.
Which for everyone’s record I hate paperwork, I hate signing up and filling forms out, I am an instant gratification kinda gal, seriously if they could make a system where they just scan your brain it would be lovely! Ala Star Trek? Perfect! Of course who is to say they don’t have that? But I digress.
Needless to say I wasn’t feeling it. Also having allergies and having not done yoga in a week with moving and all I was also feeling insecure. After all Pure isn’t of the faint of heart.
I also knew the longer I put off, the less Gumbi-like I would become and that wouldn’t help with the insecurities, and self-doubts.
So I grabbed my stuff and walked the 5 blocks (pretty quickly I must say) to the studio.
Not helping the insecurities was of course the fact I had never been to this one. Pure West? No brainer knew the lay out, with my eyes closed no doubt. But this was set up completely different. Not in a bad way, I actually think I like it better in many ways.
Of course with all the stairs you have to take, not a fan of that after an intense hot yoga class. I actually feel like I am hiking North Moat! But again I digress (or maybe it is the heat still affecting me!)
It always amazes me, the pressures we put on ourselves, to be perfect, prettier skinnier, the ways in which we view ourselves. When in fact we are perfect just the way we are. When we are perfect to others, who in reality don’t care about our extra rolls or our zits, whether our heels touch the ground for downward dog or we are doing level 3 yoga moves. It is all our own pressures our own insecurities.
And as much as New York can be flashy, and fashionable, it is us who strive to compete with that.
Don’t get me wrong there will always be those catty women and men who haven’t left high school.
But then maybe we are just as guilty of having not left that high school scene. For we ourselves put those own pressures on ourselves.
It amazed me cause when I stepped into Pure feeling my own insecurities, no one paid attention. Everyone was more focused on welcoming me, and talking about the teacher training I will begin on Friday. They were excited to help me out and show me the ropes. They set me, for the most part at ease.
Of course there was that other part that I took with me to class. That oh my God I haven’t practiced in six days, not to mention I feel like shit factor. But that was all they were factors in making up excuses.
In no way is yoga about competing . Being better, or who is better then yourself. It is about you, and what you bring to that mat.
Sometimes it is hard to remember that.
But then that is why you have gurus to remind you.
Everyday you practice it is going to be different whether you haven’t practiced in six days, or whether you have and are just exhausted.
And that is something that we need to remind ourselves, especially our insecure selves.
We can do anything that we want, but we are the ones who block that, inhibit our minds with such self doubts that we are unable to see that it is okay if can not go farther.
At the same time with all of that blocked energy it makes us unable to go farther. It ties us up in knots so that we tell ourselves we shouldn’t do something, because we can’t.
When in reality, we can do whatever we want.
The teacher today, stopped in the middle of class (which if you have ever taken this class or a hot yoga class like it, it can be torture if your mind is not in the right place!) to explain to us, that if we have to stop and lie in savasana, or child’s pose. That is fine. That is the true art of yoga. Not being able to do every level three pose, but to be present, respect yourself, and practice, whatever that might be.
We can all use that reminder.
As we finished up today he had us go into planks three times. And the self doubt that I had was great. But he was there telling us that we could. And each time we held it, I felt a little e bit of that self doubt wash away.
And guess what? I didn’t come out of plank once before I was suppose too. Once I cleared my mind, I could do whatever I put my mind too.
As I stepped out of class, a sweaty mess that could have flooded the Hudson, I felt a peace. Not only did I feel better from detoxifying all of the allergens, but I also felt better about myself.
And that is what yoga should do.
That is what we as people should do.
Every day we should love ourselves and all of our perfections.
In so many ways it is so hard to do. But if you can do it. Just say even one kind thing about yourself a day, then you will be on a path of self acceptance.
After all if other people can love you and accept you, why can’t we do the same with ourselves?
Namaste peeps <3