Self Love 2022

“Every time I rap about being a big girl in a small world, it’s doing a couple things: it’s empowering my self-awareness, my body image, and it’s also making the statement that we are all bigger than this; we’re a part of something bigger than this, and we should live in each moment knowing that.” ~ Lizzo

Happy Monday!

Hello friends! Happy Monday! And Motivational Monday at that! It is that time of year again! Where warmer temperatures are upon us and so is swimsuit season. While I LOVE this time of year, It can also be cause for stress. The panic of having to be “Swimsuit ready” And never feeling like you are. As someone who has battled eating disorders as well as body dysmorphia which the later I still feel like I have a warped sense of self at times (looking at pictures is a great reminder of how far I have come, but also the distorted sense of self I had, even with such mundane things as my hair not being long enough, but looking back it definitely was, anyway I digress) I understand the stresses. In fact I feel like it has been the last couple years where I have really said f*ck it and owned my body whether it is bikini ready or not.

And honestly what really IS “Bikini Ready?” Throughout the decades it has changed with what is and is not deemed the “Perfect body.” It has evolved, as has the trends of swimsuits and what was once in fashion, no longer is, and what use to be deemed ‘hideous’ is now the perfect body. It is enough to make anyone crazy.

But the truth is our bodies are NOT trends. Period. Curvy shouldn’t be in one season, and long legged the next. ALL bodies are trendy. ALL bodies are beautiful. And ALL bodies are bikini ready in my book. You are beautiful as YOU are, whether it is the dead of winter or the scorching month of July, YOU are beautiful as you are! And yes I will use ALL the caps until everyone believes it!

This isn’t to say, you automatically should believe me. (I mean you should!) Relationships are constant work, and that includes with ourselves. We are all going to have days where we feel blah, especially as women, with our cycles (thanks to PCOS and Endometriosis, I look like I am pregnant two weeks out of the month) and hormones, that affects everything, and is always fluctuating. One of the things I have learned over the years, is that I’m not always going to feel myself, and it doesn’t mean that I am spiraling, it just means for any number of reasons, I am not comfortable in that moment or even day, but at the same time I can’t let it stop me from living and enjoying what I love the most. The beach.

In some ways, I feel like it is the universe’s way of making me confront the uncomfortable over the years. I love the beach, but HATED wearing a swimsuit. The universe sure does have a funny sense of humor. And for the longest time I DID let it affect me. I would wear running shorts into the water to hide my thighs as a teenager. Years later I find it laughable. Because I was SO sure everyone was looking at me. Judging me, when the reality is, they ALSO were worried about being judged and feeling self conscious. I can guarantee you, if you are worried about people judging your cellulite (which newsflash we ALL have no matter how “skinny” we are) or wondering why you think you can rock a bikini let me tell you they aren’t. Mostly because those people are probably worrying what YOU are thinking about them.

We get SO caught up in our heads, selling ourselves narratives that nine times out of ten they aren’t true, and the irony is, we are ALL doing it. You nor I, nor anyone, are alone in being self conscious about our bodies and swimsuits. No one gives a f*ck WHAT you are wearing or judges you for to much cellulite or not doing enough crunches. Because the sad truth is, we are ALL fighting our own battles and are to caught up worrying about our own insecurities and bodies, to judge others. Further more, the imperfections WE notice about ourselves, I doubt anyone else would notice if we pointed them out. They would think we were crazy. BUT if you asked them, how often they think about their own? It would be hundreds of times a day.

I recently heard a psychologist say, if someone talked to us, the way we talk to ourselves internally, we probably would run as far away as possible, because it would be a toxic relationship. Read that again. Let that sink in. As supportive, and praising, and loving as we are to our friends and relationships as a whole, we ALSO need to be to ourselves. Because we are our first and best relationship. SO friends, wear the damn bikini, I promise you no one is judging you. And on the small chance they are, that is a reflection on THEM and THEIR insecurities, NOT on you. You are beautiful. You are enough. You are deserving. And yes you ARE freaking bikini ready. I promise you. So go out there and live your best life this summer because you are beautiful as you are and so freaking deserving.

Sending you all SO much love friends.

DO you get nervous around bikini season? How do you handle the self doubt?