Many people say it is one incredible journey, But I don’t think you can ever fully comprehend until you actually go through it. And tonight I started that journey.
And it has already been a rollercoaster of emotion.
We began introductions of each other and those in our Kula. Which for non-yogis out there, it is a word for community. We became acquainted with each other, our teachers, and even ourselves.
One of the remarkable things, that I noticed right off the bat, was that in the directory with our names, mine was printed as Katie. Now anyone who knows me knows that I haven’t gone by that in probably 10 years.
As I spoke to the director, I had noticed in her e-mails, that she called me Katie. At first I didn’t notice, but when I did I didn’t mind. It isn’t a name I hate, just one of my childhood.
But then with yoga it is all about realizing ourselves and getting in tune with yourself. And part of that means revisiting your inner being, your inner childhood, where nothing matters. Faith, color, culture, all of that curiosity of indifference we have as children doesn’t affect us. Which is why children are so unique and special. We are so incredibly NONE judgmental.
There are 26 of us who have decided to undertake this incredible journey. Which we were told that it is the biggest they have had yet. Yay! To begin with, we sat in a circle. We then proceeded to go around and say why we had decided to undertake this, what led us to this personal journey now. We also decided to give each other nicknames so we can remember each other’s names.
The most poignant memory for me, was my nickname. Or perhaps the rechristening of it.
I as the youngest have dozens of nicknames mostly courtesy of my two big brothers, and of course I shared those with the group. But I also shared a nickname that I was given albeit perhaps embarrassingly by Jacquie.
A nickname that originated because she had a huge crush on 98 degrees (although definitely not as huge as Hanson….which I am forever greatful this nickname didn’t come from them.) and of course as the worshipful little sister I followed her in her obsession. Well I had a huge crush on Drew Lachey, and Jacquie had a huge crush on Jeff Timmons. (though alike, I still had to be slightly different from her) Their nicknames respectably were Sprout and Sugar.
Well Friday night that was the nickname that they chose for me as I begin this yoga journey. It is the name that they have called me since.
I am a big believer in fate. Which is a big part of yoga, ironically, or perhaps that is what has drawn it to me.
It is also because of fate or tragedy or natural order of things whatever term you want to use that I have undertaken this.
Put simply, it is because of you Sugar.
To be here and have that nickname means more and I truly do believe is fate.
They could have chosen any other nickname (Beaver, flute, George, or they could have stuck with Katie, or Kate) but they didn’t. And as I have begun this journey, as I have day in and day out since her passing I am taking a little bit of my sister with me. And by doing that I am also healing bit by bit, day by day.
And I know as I continue this journey, I will continue to feel her presence, and heal even more. So tonight I say Namaste Sugar. <3