“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ~ E. M. Forster
Ah, friends, let’s try this again. I was literally ready to hit post when WordPress randomly updated (to their new site set-up) and deleted half of this post. NOT going to cry. Not going to cry, though I was DEFINITELY tempted to throw my computer and scream bloody murder at WordPress.
I will not scream bloody murder, and just chalk it up to more 2020 bull shizzle. BUT, quick side note, WHY is it no longer automatically saving? It use to, and now I am being paranoid and pausing every few seconds to save, cause well WordPress deleted everything and now I AM paranoid.
Any who, this was NOT the point of this post, however fitting it kinda is to how the last month has been, And I also do NOT want this to be a downer post either.
So first, nothing like some gratitude and a shout out to change the mindset, (I did this anyway and ironically this is the only thing that saved, link and all) I owe a huge thank you to Jenny from XO Cup of Jo for this title. I always love her What’s up Wednesday Posts and while this is not as fun as hers are, just because it has been a hot second since I have been on here, I thought the title was fitting, because well it is Wednesday. SO thank you Jenny for the title, the idea, and always posting the best blogs. Please go check her out. She is awesome and her pictures are drool worthy, and I have been living vicariously through her, especially during this pandemic, speaking of.
I feel like this is more for documentary purposes, because well we ALL know we are STILL in a pandemic, but in ten years or whenever, I want to be able to look back on this and remember when I LIVED through a pandemic, because it is pretty freaking crazy!
I know a lot of people thought we would be past this by now, shut down for a few weeks or a month and life would resume, but that has not happened. The craziness is STILL going on. I am not sure WHAT I thought when this first started, I feel like I was hopeful it would be over by now, at the same time I am also a bit of a realist as well as I think of ALL the scenarios, so I am not shocked to say this is where we are at.
That said it sucks. We still don’t know if the kiddos are going back to school which leads to a whole host of questions, and truthfully I don’t know if Auntie Kate can be Teacher Kate again. It was a LOT this past spring. I feel horrible saying that, but keeping it real here.
July was literally Non-Stop. (an impromptu homage to the HamFilm that released on Disney plus at he beginning of July.) In fact I feel like I am only JUST coming back up for air. My Dad got sick again and I ended up stepping in to help my broski with the family business, while still watching my other broski’s chillens all while working on my own hustles. It was a LOT. Did I mention it was a LOT? And of course as only the universe could, and as happened the last time my Dad got sick, we got super busy, So it was much for awhile.
Thankfully, my dad is home and on the mend (and back to his curmudgeon self, him and sickness do NOT go well together) and things have slowed down for a bit of a reprieve.
Being completely truthful, one of the reasons my posting has been so shoddy of late, not just on here, but also on Instagram, and I KNOW I have been sucking at responding to messages, and I do appreciate them so much, but I have been feeling burnt out. I like to stay positive or at least look on the bright side of things and I have been finding that difficult of late. It honestly feels frivolous and a bit disingenuous to post about fashion or a snarky comment (though humor is one of my coping mechanisms) with everything going on, not just personally, but also universally.
I am trying to push through it, and I know this will pass, but it is just where my head is at of late. I also am feeling really torn personally and also guilty, because as much as I love my family, I am so ready to move and pursue my dreams and my career, if for nothing else but to save my own sanity. It is time, but the guilt and feeling I am abandoning them is eating at me. I am so grateful to my friend (thank you Tori!) who talked me off a ledge last night and told me I just gave them the tools to move forward. I pray that is true.
Gawd I feel like like this got depressing. Did I mention I am horribly hormonal? Sorry TMI, but it is a particularly bad month (sorry for anyone dealing with me) which WAS probably brought on by the shit storm that was July. But moving on, hopefully a little bit more cheerfully.
Beach. Beach is ALWAYS my happy place and while this has certainly been a different kind of summer (going by way to quickly!) I have been able to go to the ocean quite a bit. Granted, I have been getting work done when there, but hey I will take it as my office ANY day. There is no better office am I right?
The beach has been surprisingly quiet. My hometown has been insanely busy, (even making the news because of it, oy vey!) so I have been escaping whenever I can.
Despite all the craziness I did get to take my nephews and niece to the beach a couple times, and we went sea glass hunting as well as boogey boarding. If you follow me on Insta, you may have seen a clip of my niece saying boogey board. It is the cutest thing, if I do say so myself.
I cannot believe it is almost Fall. I mean technicalities, because I know it isn’t official for another month, but the last few weeks in August always feel like fall. Even Mother Nature agrees. It was FREEZING this morning. Of course this should come as no surprise, but I am not ready for fall.
Summer went by SO quickly, in part because we weren’t able to do a lot of the traditional activities we usually do, and things didn’t really open until July, which is okay, because despite everything it HAS been a good summer. I know this post comes across as a little melancholy, but I am NOT ready for summer to end. I do love fall. I am NOT PSL basic, but I am basic, and it is beautiful in New England, And yes I am getting excited for, dare I say the words? Christmas!
Yup I unapologetically said it!
As excited as I am for that, I still am not ready for the dog days of summer. To say good-bye to the beaches and bundle up in sweatshirts, though who am I kidding, I was STILL bundled up in sweatshirts this summer! I definitely think I will hold on for as long as I can, after all this mermaid needs her waves!
Are you ready for fall? How has your summer been? Did it go by way to quickly?
7 thoughts on “What’s Up Wednesday?”
Aw Kate I hope you are looking after yourself lovely! Don’t worry about blogging or insta atm, your mental health is what’s important!! Sorry to hear about your Dad but so grateful to hear he’s back home and better now, sending lots of love and light ❤️❤️❤️
I hope you’re doing okay, Kate! I can definitely imagine you feel guilty for leaving your family but imagine how guilty THEY would feel if they held you back from your dreams and happiness. From all your updates, it honestly sounds like you’ve been doing so much to support them so I hope you’re proud of yourself and you realise that you’ve done your part and now is just the time you need to look after yourself <3 I can definitely relate to the feeling of frivolity as well. I think if you need time off, take time off and we'll love you with open arms when you're back. But if you feel guilty for posting . . . the way I see it is that we can sit here and feel awful about our shit storm of a world, or we can adjust to the new normal the best we can and try squeeze the good out of it. If that's going to the beach, enjoy it! You can't control COVID and how it affects everyone, all you can control is YOUR life and how much you enjoy it xxx
Ah very inspiring and helpful we all need time to ourselves and to reset, thanks for posting 🙂
The photos are all amazing, you look gorgeous!
Wow, I wish I could reach out give you the biggest hug. I have felt soo much of this post myself. Thank you for sharing so honestly too, made me feel way less alone in what I’ve been going through this summer. I am really glad to hear your Dad is feeling better <3 Regarding the family situation- from my perspective, you are the least selfish when it comes to being there for your family. Even when you didn’t live near them, that was still true. You have always prioritized them 100%, and that will not change even if you decide to move and pursue a new path. I think the guilt probably comes from the fact that you do love and care about them as much as you do, but I’m sure they will support you! <3 I love what Tori said about giving them the tools to moving forward. I know that decision is still super tough, knowing you and how wise you are, you will make the right one! Also, I am so with you already dreaming about Christmas- is it here yet?! So much love to youu! xoxo
🤞Hoping things are looking up and get better soon!
Do not feel guilty for embracing YOUR life and flying. We will be just fine as long as each of you is happy and following your dream and the life you were meant to have.❤️